dirty laundry

Been thinking...

I think it's time to start blogging again. Not everything fits into a tweet.

signing off for a bit.

i haven't written much over the past few months (year?).  lots going on.  mostly work, but some rather personal trials as well.  i'm kind of feeling like i need a bit of a break from the world -- not in the suicidal way, just a break.  unfortunately, i don't really have the luxury of simply disappearing for a year(?) long hiatus from it all (who does really?).  well, i suppose i could, but i'm much too practical for that.

whatever the case, it's time for a break from the blog, from twitter, from myspace, from flickr, from gmail chat and ichat and even text messages... from all the impersonal ways we communicate on any given day.  even tv & radio.  it doesn't mean i don't love you, i just need a break and a little time to refocus on me.  i'll likely resurface sooner than i think.  at heart, afterall, i'm a bit of a computer geek.  or, maybe i resurface to hang out in the real world, sharing real beers and real laughs and making real memories with real people, instead of a typed "ahaha!".  who knows.  this is all a bit convoluted.  eh.  whatever.

for now, here's wishing you all happiness and love, and good health to enjoy both.

if not real, it's definitely been fun!

to do.

Every Sunday my boss sends out a to do list for the week.  The one for me this week was awesome...

• SEE MY MANY EMAILS OF MILLIONS OF THINGS TO DO
• AND THEN DO THE ABOVE.
• AGAIN.
• PRIORITY IS PRODUCTION AND FINAL CONTRACTING FOR THE WEEK. AND NOTHING ELSE.
• EXCEPT FOR EVERYTHING ELSE.

Hilarious because it's true.

whoa..

People are so darn creative:

Pretty amazing and kinda frightening. He's got a ton of other videos here. 

1/365

It's all the rage really, especially for those of us who like to carry cameras and occasionally blog. Today marks day one of 365.  For some reason, it feels kinda like  birthday.  A(nother) new beginning I suppose.  Really, this is my 2nd attempt.

So, what is 365?  It's an ongoing project started on Flickr.  Participants start whenever it suits them, take a self portrait everyday for a year, and post that to their Flickr stream.  For many it starts as a way to force themselves to practice photography daily.  But, it typically ends with an amazing collection of photos and stories documenting what turns out to be an eventful year -- with details that you might have otherwise forgotten about.

Today was my first day off since Nov. 2nd -- otherwise known as 21 days ago.  Yes, I think it's ridiculous too.  I had a helluva time getting out of bed this morning.  It was just so cozy and warm.  I only got up to go to my roommates going away party.  I'll be returning to my comfy bed shortly.

Anyway, given it's the start of a new project, I thought it might be fun to make a few resolutions(?).  I don't really know what else to call them.  I started to type them out here, but it turns out that most are rather personal.  Oh well.  I suppose I could share that I would like to work less, hang with friends & fam more, and travel a bit over the next year.  Yeah, those are pretty benign (though long overdue).

There it is then.  An update.  And a fresh start.  Time for bed.

Barack the vote!

Friends, it's an important & historical day. Play your part and vote today!! xoxo.

new fave song lyrics.

"I tried to do handstands for you
But every time I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue,
permanently blue for you."
- Bruises by Chairlift.

"You see the smile that's on my mouth
Is hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through like you do...
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to"
- The Story by Brandi Carlil

Yeah, I've been a little emo lately.  Mostly to do with hormones, but excessively weepy no less.

What.  Ever.

boyfriend.

One morning last week my boss walked through the office and casually mentioned that my car had a flat tire.  I was a bit overwhelmed with other details of the day at the time to really pay the new challenge much attention.  So, when my other boss walked through the office at 6pm that evening and asked if I had taken care of the tire, I, of course, answered "no".  That's when, without me having to ask, he grabbed my keys, pulled my car into the warehouse, and filled up the tire -- no fuss, no muss, in a very tripple A and on ya go sort of way.  Wow.

Fast forward to tonight when I thoroughly enjoyed an amazing deep tissue massage from a CMT I found on Yelp just hours earlier.  What I noticed while being massaged -- aside from the usual tension relieving muscle manipulation -- was the soft and gentle nature of the touch.  At times, one hand was applying intense pressure on one area, while the other one gently carressed another.  The massage was stellar overall, but just being touched is such a tender way... wow! 

Ok, so what is the point here?  These are things I hope a boyfriend might do someday.  Not literally fix my car or give me an amazing massage, though both would be much appreciated, but take care of me, touch me... just generally be there for me.  For all strong will and fierce independence, sometimes I just want to be taken care of.  And, these two experiences have worked to show me just how much I would love to have someone special in my life. 

For now, I have the bossman to occassionally take care of things, the massage therapist to supply the comforting human touch, and the occassional text bootie call boy to... uh... well, you know.  Just would be nice to have all three of those wrapped up in a man who I can also call my best friend.  I suppose I could be worse off, but it really can be a lonely world.

No, no, no, no!!

Come on people, we're better than this.  Wake up.

heroes.

I'm a cranky pants today.  I noticed it around 5pm when I became irrationally angry with my boss for literally no reason.  I usually have a good reason, but not today. Heh.  He didn't know.  He might now, but he didn't then and that's what counts.  Whatever the case, during these times of clearly misguided emotions, I try to take a bit of joy in the little things and find heroes in everyday people I encounter.

1. Robert H. with Desoto Cabs -- you are my hero because yesterday when we got stuck in traffic on the way to my destination, you refused to let me pay you the full fare.  THEN, you returned with my keys that I had carelessly left in the backseat, and charged me only a fraction of the actual fare from you previous location.  That was rad and I really appreciated it.  Made my whole day a whole lot better.

2.Jesse T., my brother, your strength in the face of adversity, the way you persevere through the  shittiest of times and situations... it boggles my mind.  You are my hero for always being such an amazing parent to your children, for always taking the time to hear about my day/life/dramas/etc., for being up for a martini mid-week, for keeping the faith that all will work itself out in the end -- for better or for worse  -- and knowing it will be for better, for just being you and for being not only my brother, but my best friend.

And this is when I turn from irrationally angry girl to sappy crybaby.  Awesome.